Yule Tidings Read online

  Anne stood, dumping her coffee in the sink. She didn’t want to remember this. The precious child she’d lost. It wasn’t that this baby had been more important than her other children, certainly not. But this baby was just as special, and she would always feel guilty about his loss. The kids hadn’t known she was pregnant. She and Franklin were preparing to tell them, but she’d had a few complications and they were waiting just a little longer. Franklin woke a neighbor to sit with the sleeping children while he rushed her to the hospital, but it was too late. Anne knew it was too late when she saw the blood on the mattress. Franklin stayed with her throughout the night, holding her. They told the kids she’d gotten sick and had to stay in the hospital a few days. When she came home from the hospital, no baby, she’d fallen into a deep depression. Few things were able to make her smile and the kids spent most of their free time at friends’ homes because she just wasn’t there for them.

  Anne took a deep breath. It wouldn’t do any good to think about these things more. They’d been married just over eleven years when she lost the baby. She slept on the couch, unable to sleep in the bed where, she imagined, she’d help murder her child. The blood was gone. Franklin had managed to get it out before she came home from the hospital; but she could still see the stains in her mind. Before their twelfth anniversary he bought the new bedroom set she slept on now. It was lovely. It was made of a sturdy, dark wood, and had four-posters; it was heavier than imaginable. She’d loved it. For a time things had improved. They tried to have another baby, but Anne couldn’t get pregnant. The doctor believed it was psychosomatic. She couldn’t really argue. She didn’t believe she should be allowed to get pregnant again after being so careless. They struggled to keep the love alive, but deep down she blamed Franklin, and to a lesser extent, sex for the loss.

  She tried to remain a dutiful wife. To be there and see to his needs. She cleaned his house, raised his kids, cooked his meals, and washed his laundry, but she couldn’t respond to his touch. Sex became evil and dangerous; it began to embody everything she hated. Franklin’s needs, his desires, transformed from something wonderful for her to share with him, into something dark and sinister. She suffered silently for a time, but Franklin knew. He detected her reluctance to share a bed with him, and he started to withdraw from her. Within seven years, he was going to someone else for the physical solace he could no longer find at home. At first Anne had been relieved. She didn’t have to feel guilty for denying him any longer. It was too late when she realized that he was gone. He’d found someone new; who could provide for him both physically and emotionally all those things she withheld.

  Oh, they tried couples therapy, but he didn’t like the therapists she picked, and she didn’t like the therapists he picked. They even tried individual therapy, which Anne believed might have helped if they’d tried it sooner, but as always, it was too late. She knew it was over, but she’d never imagined he’d actually divorce her. She thought they’d continue in misery, waiting perhaps until Trisha left home and then either start sleeping in separate rooms, or separate and eventually get a divorce; but they hadn’t been able to stick it out any longer. Twelve years of silent pain and hidden agonies had torn them completely apart, and no amount of talking or yelling would put them back together.

  Anne jumped when she heard the door to Jason’s room open. She was still standing at the sink, her coffee cup in hand. She watched Jason as he came down the stairs, so like his father. Maybe it was because the memory of the lost baby was so recent, but her anger at Jason ebbed. “Good morning,” she said, her voice cracking ever so slightly. He was home, and he would spend some time with her this morning without that wretched girl.

  “Morning,” Jason said, looking at her curiously. She seemed to have deflated since last night, her anger diminished.

  “How’d you sleep?” Anne asked, trying to make small talk. She knew how he’d slept; with that whore.

  “Alright I guess. I’m used to my bed at home. It’s always hard to switch,” Jason answered reservedly. He didn’t want her to think that he had forgotten how rude she was last night, but he didn’t want to be mean either. “You?”

  “Okay. Did you want some coffee? I made a pot at about five.” Anne started to hand Jason a cup.

  “Thanks, but I don’t drink coffee, Mom.” Jason watched his mother warily. There was always calm before the storm.

  “Oh. Well there’s orange juice in the fridge, and milk, and water.” Anne started to open the refrigerator door but Jason’s voice stopped her.

  “Mom, I’m not thirsty, really.” Jason watched her for a minute. She wasn’t acting normal, but then again it was hard to say what was normal anymore. She’d changed so much in the last six years. He almost wished he was ten years old again, and his real mother was back. She’d had her moments, and it seemed like there was a solid year or two when she hadn’t been quite as perfect, but overall she’d been a good mother to the four of them.

  “So, is Alexia awake?” Anne asked, trying to get Jason talking. Maybe if she talked about Alexia he would open up about his relationship with her.

  “No, I let her sleep. She hasn’t been feeling well. Traveling gets to her.” Jason wasn’t sure why his mother kept calling Alex by her given name, but it was irritating, as if she couldn’t even accept her nickname. “Mom, she goes by Alex,” he said slowly. He didn’t want to fight with her again, but he didn’t want to just let her have her own way either. Sometimes it seemed like he had to fight every small battle that arose to prevent a war.

  “I just have a hard time picturing a girl as an Alex, Jason.” Anne opened the fridge. “What would you like for breakfast?”

  “I’m not extremely hungry Mom. I’m not much of a breakfast person anymore.” Jason tried to ignore her jibe about Alex being a male name. She was behaving herself for the most part. In some relief, he heard Alex get up and go into the bathroom. At least they could leave soon. “I thought I’d take Alex to the mall, and maybe the museum,” Jason told her offhandedly.

  “Oh. Well that’s nice.” Anne wasn’t sure what to say. She thought Jason was coming home to visit her, not to take that tramp for a tour of the city; like she would appreciate the museum anyway.

  “I thought you might join us in town for lunch, though.” Jason thought about things on the drive back last night, and it made more sense to tell his mother the news about his engagement in a public place. She wouldn’t be as likely to make a scene or anything. He didn’t want to fight with her, and he certainly didn’t want to subject Alex to her theatrics.

  “Oh. Well, I hadn’t planned on driving into town today, but I guess I can meet you for lunch. What did you have in mind?” Anne didn’t really want to spend more time with Alexia, but she knew Jason would take it as an affront if she refused his invitation to eat with them. He’d been so sensitive to anything she said about Alexia last night, Anne didn’t dare deny him.

  “Whatever really, we’re not usually picky eaters. Big Boy, Country Kitchen, Applebee’s; it doesn’t matter to us.” Jason tried to be accommodating as he listed off the restaurants he knew were in town.

  “Well, I’ve never been to Applebee’s.”

  “Okay, then we’ll take you to Applebee’s,” Jason said firmly. “What time do you want to meet there?”

  “I was just going to ask you that. I don’t work today, so it’s really up to you two. I don’t have anything planned.”

  “Well, when you’re ready to come into town you can call my cell, or I can call you when we start getting hungry. Either way,” Jason looked up as Alex came down the stairs, giving her his full attention. She wore jeans and a loose sweater, her hair pulled back into a ponytail. “Good morning,” he said, smiling.

  “Good morning.” Alex looked from Jason to his mother, not entirely sure what to say. She stepped into the kitchen and stood at Jason’s side, quietly.

  “Are you hungry? I can make some pancakes,” Anne offered half-heartedly, watching Alexia move close to Jason
with some disdain. Anne noted the casual manner in which the girl was dressed, taking a quick perusal of her attire. Her clothing was nothing extraordinary, but rather plain and simple. Teachers can dress like that now? No wonder the quality of education was dropping, Anne thought. She didn’t really want to cook for the little tramp, but Jason was really touchy; she had to be polite and offer.

  “Oh, I doubt I could finish any,” Alex answered quickly. Even the sound of food made her queasy. “Thank you, though.” Alex’s voice was full of sincerity. She knew she wouldn’t be able to eat, but it had been kind of Anne to offer to make her anything, and she didn’t want Anne to think she wasn’t appreciative of the gesture.

  Anne, on the other hand, was angry. She felt she had every right to take their plates last night, but just because she didn’t like the girl didn’t mean she’d make her go hungry. “I wouldn’t take your plate…” Anne started, but Jason interrupted her.

  “Mom, I told you, traveling makes Alex sick. She just meant that food wouldn’t agree with her this morning.” Jason had seen the look in his mother’s eyes. He knew Alex hadn’t meant anything by her comment, she’d just been honest, but his mother had taken it the wrong way, as usual. She deserved to be hackled about her behavior in Jason’s opinion, but he was certain that Alex wasn’t trying to be mean or vindictive. “Do you want to get going?” he asked Alex.

  “Sure.” Alex was ready to leave. The tension in the room was thick enough to choke her. Anne was glaring at her as though she could cause great agony with her stare. Suddenly, Alex wasn’t at all sure if they should even take the chance of telling his mother about the engagement. Maybe Jason had been right when he said they should just send her an invitation. The woman was downright rude and spiteful.

  “Okay, well we’ll see you around lunchtime at Applebee’s, Mom.” Jason said, leading Alex out to the car, his mother following them to the front door. Jason ran back in the house under the guise that he’d forgotten his wallet and some traveling snacks. Quickly, he grabbed their luggage and ran back out without saying a word to his mother, who sat in the living room staring blankly at the television. He was hoping she didn’t notice he’d taken the luggage, but he doubted anything went past her.

  Jason told Alex his plan for breaking the news to his mother in public. Alex wasn’t sure a restaurant would be the best place to tell her, but he had a point about it being somewhere public, where Anne wasn’t as likely to make a scene. “It still seems a little backhanded,” she said after a few minutes, “but I guess it’s the easiest, and possibly the best, way.”

  “I think so,” Jason answered. “Come on, I want to show you something.” Jason took Alex to the museum, and then they went to his old high school to see a couple of his old teachers. Alex enjoyed meeting the pleasant, up-beat people Jason knew. She even met some of his high school buddies while they wandered around town. By noon they were starting to get fairly hungry so Jason called his mother. “Hey, Mom. We’re almost ready to eat if you are,” he said when she answered.

  “Oh, I forgot. You can go ahead and eat without me if you want,” Anne offered, trying to get out of spending time near Alexia. “I wouldn’t want you to go hungry because of me.”

  “Mom, we’ll be at Applebee’s waiting to order until you get there,” Jason said irritably. He didn’t give her a chance to argue before saying ‘goodbye’ and hanging up the phone. “Well, she’s coming. We might as well go prepare.” Jason and Alex walked back to the car, tense and uncomfortable. Lunch would almost certainly be even worse than dinner last night. Jason looked at Alex, her face pale, her hands moving around nervously. “It’ll be okay,” he told her before unlocking her door. She nodded and climbed in the car. Jason stood outside the car for a moment taking deep breaths. He knew without a doubt that his mother would not be happy with their announcement; he was even certain she would have some rather rude and disparaging comments to make. Jason rubbed his eyes. There were times when he hated his mother.

  Chapter Four

  Applebee’s was extremely busy. Jason and Alex waited fifteen minutes for a table to open up. Every table and booth surrounding them had people eating and laughing gaily. The wait staff was extremely pleasant, if a little out of breath, and Alex couldn’t help but feel at ease in the carefree atmosphere of the place. When they were seated they started to go over every possible reaction Anne might have that they could think of. Jason thought his mother might just storm off in anger, leaving the restaurant in a huff. In which case, he figured they should rent a hotel room and call her later that night or in the morning to see if she’d calmed down enough to see reason. Alex, not knowing his mother very well, didn’t know what to expect, but she doubted it’d be as easy as her walking out. “She’s bound to say something,” Alex told him, but when he asked what she’d say, Alex could only shrug in uncertainty.

  While Jason and Alex were waiting for her, Anne was taking her time and trying not to think about how frustrating it would be to have to share Jason’s attention. She resented Alexia’s presence, and she wasn’t entirely sure she could maintain a civil mien throughout lunch. It took her forty-five minutes to reach the restaurant. She frowned as the waitress showed her to the table and she noticed that Jason and Alex sat hand in hand, talking softly as she walked up. “It’s really busy in here,” she said, taking the seat across from Jason.

  “Yeah,” he agreed. He waited for his mother to look through the menu. When she was ready, they ordered. Jason decided to wait until the food arrived before he breached the subject of the engagement with his mother, thinking that if her food was already on the table she’d be less likely to just get up and leave. She hated it when people wasted food, especially at restaurants. Jason let her make small talk for a good twenty minutes. She talked about the weather, her plans for the winter, and all the things that needed to be fixed at the house, which, she hinted, Jason could fix before he left. When she was halfway through her meal, he finally decided it was time to spill the beans. “Mom,” he said, clearing his throat, “I’ve asked Alex to marry me.”

  “What?” she asked, nearly choking on a chip, “you did what?” Anne couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It had to be a mistake. “You mean that as a joke, don’t you?” Anne looked at Jason in confusion. He couldn’t marry this girl.

  “No Mom, it’s no joke. I’ve asked her to marry me,” Jason said calmly. He knew he had to control his temper; he didn’t want to make a scene, especially in such a busy restaurant. Houghton was a small town. Everyone and their neighbor would know what happened if things got out of hand here. No matter who was at fault, his mother would blame him for any stain on her reputation.

  “But you barely know her,” Anne argued, looking at the silent girl who sat rigidly next to Jason in obvious distress. How dare he tell her this in a public place? He knew she wouldn’t approve of such a thing. Alexia wasn’t good enough for Jason. Not by half. She was a tiny, sniveling, little mousy haired tramp.

  “Mom, we’ve been dating over a year,” he reasoned. I won’t let her make me angry, he thought to himself, taking a deep breath.

  “That’s nothing,” she exclaimed, a bit more loudly than necessary. It was fortunate that the restaurant was so busy. Only a few people sitting at the neighboring tables could have heard her surprise. She’d dated Franklin for three years before they became engaged, and look how that had turned out. She couldn’t let Jason ruin his life by marrying someone that wasn’t good enough for him. Anne knew firsthand what happened when you married someone that was your inferior.

  “We’ve been engaged almost six months, Mom. We were going to wait another six months before we got married, but we’ve changed our minds. We’re moving the date up. We’ll be married the first week of December,” Jason said, wincing at the look on her face. She looked outraged, anguished, surprised, and disappointed all at once. He didn’t want to cause her so much distress, but he wasn’t going to change his plans to please her, either. He wanted to marry Alex and nothin
g his mother said was going to stop him.

  “You’re joking,” she said slowly. Hoping and praying that he wasn’t really telling her this. Married in December? How could he be so stupid? He was still too young, too naïve. He couldn’t possibly know what he really wanted, or what he was getting himself into. “Marriage isn’t just a few words, Jason. This is a serious commitment. You can’t really mean all this.”

  “Yes I do, Mom. We’re getting married in December.”

  “Why so soon?” she asked, looking from one to the other before a thought entered her mind, coiling around her like a snake. She looked at Alex coldly, “are you trapping him?” she accused with such malice that the girl actually seemed to wince. “You’re lying to him, telling him he got you pregnant so you can push him into marriage.” Anne looked at her reproachfully.

  “What?” Alex asked, finally beginning to get angry. She’d been patient and calm while Anne berated Jason, insisting that their engagement must be some kind of joke, but this was the last straw. “You are the rudest individual I have ever met,” Alex said, breathing quickly. “I can’t believe Jason could be related to someone so cruel. How dare you?” Alex was finally pissed. She would never dream of trapping Jason. They’d been engaged six months, it’s not like they didn’t plan on getting married. When she found out she was pregnant, she recommended moving the wedding back, not wanting to be extremely far along on her wedding day. Jason was enormously excited about the baby, and he insisted on moving the wedding up. He didn’t want to wait until after the baby was born to get married. She was only six weeks along. They’d be married before she reached twelve weeks. She told Jason it wasn’t necessary, but he wanted to marry her.

  “You slut! You have trapped him, haven’t you?” Anne said, going off the deep end. Her mind was wheeling. How could this be happening to Jason?

  “That is enough!” Jason said loudly, looking at his mother in deepening rage. “I love Alex, mother. If you don’t like that, too damn bad. She is everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. She’s sweet, and kind, and we have some pretty amazing conversations. She loves me and I love her. Yes, she’s pregnant, but I asked her to marry me long before she ever conceived. Nobody else has a problem with this. Dad and Donna are excited; Alex’s parents are ecstatic, Rose and Michael are thrilled, and I’m beside myself with happiness about it all. What is your problem? Why can’t you be happy about this?” Jason spoke louder than he’d intended, but ignored the quieting of the restaurant.